Reviewed by Daniel Andrews, Partner · Cramp & Mullaney LLP · October 2026 · 7-minute read
In short: “child custody” isn’t the legal term in England and Wales any more. The family court makes child arrangements orders, which say who a child lives with and spends time with. There’s no automatic preference for mothers or fathers: the child’s welfare decides, and the court presumes both parents’ involvement is good unless it would put the child at risk.
Written by our family team and reviewed by Daniel Andrews, Partner and Head of Family. Cramp & Mullaney is rated 5.0 from 295 client reviews on ReviewSolicitors (October 2026).
On this page
- Custody, residence and lives with
- Sole custody
- How the court decides
- When joint care isn’t ordered
- What we see in practice
- Questions people ask
Sound familiar?
You’ve separated, and the question that matters most is the children. Where will they live? How often will you see them? And what happens if you can’t agree?
- “Can I get full custody?”
- “Mothers always win, don’t they?”
- “My ex is stopping me seeing my children.”
For help with your own situation, see our child law solicitors page.
What is child custody called now?
In England and Wales the law talks about child arrangements, not custody. A child arrangements order says who a child lives with, and who they spend time with and when. What used to be a residence order is now a “lives with” order, and contact is now “spends time with”. Parental responsibility is separate.
| Old term | Term now |
|---|---|
| Custody or residence | Child arrangements order: “lives with” |
| Access or contact | Child arrangements order: “spends time with” |
| Joint custody | Shared care: the child lives with both parents |
Source: Children Act 1989, section 8.
What are the grounds for sole custody in the UK?
There’s no list of “grounds for sole custody”. A court will order that a child lives only with one parent, and may limit time with the other, where that’s what the child’s welfare needs. That usually involves real risk, such as abuse, serious substance misuse or neglect, rather than a parent simply being less organised.
Worried about arrangements for your children? Talk to us in a free 15-minute call.
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How does the court decide who a child lives with?
The child’s welfare is the paramount consideration. The judge works through the welfare checklist, including the child’s wishes, needs, the effect of change, any risk of harm and each parent’s capability. The court also presumes each parent’s involvement is good for the child, unless that would put them at risk.
Source: Children Act 1989, section 1.
Why might a parent not get shared care?
Shared care is common where parents live close together and can communicate. It may not be ordered where the parents live far apart, the child’s routine or schooling wouldn’t work, there’s a history of domestic abuse or safeguarding concerns, or the parents’ conflict would harm the child. Each case turns on what’s best for that child.
What we see in practice
- Most arrangements are agreed. With good advice, most parents reach a plan without a final hearing.
- Status quo matters. The longer a pattern continues, the more it can shape what the court sees as normal, so get advice early.
- Children notice conflict. Keeping disputes away from them helps them and your case.
Common pitfalls
- Stopping contact without a safety reason.
- Asking children to choose.
- Criticising the other parent in messages that end up in court.
What to do next
- Write down a proposed routine that works for the children.
- Try to agree it, with mediation if needed.
- If you can’t agree, get advice about applying on form C100.
How we can help
We help parents and grandparents reach arrangements that work for children, calmly where possible and firmly where needed.
- Daniel Andrews, Partner, Matthew Roberts, Oliver Message and Willow Burton
- Court advocacy in-house
“Having them by my side gives me the feeling of peace, safety, and reassurance…”
Family law client
See how our child law solicitors can help →
Questions people ask
Do mothers automatically get custody in the UK?
No. There’s no automatic preference for either parent. The court decides based on the child’s welfare, and presumes that involvement of each parent is good for the child unless that would put them at risk.
At what age can a child choose which parent to live with?
There’s no fixed age. The court considers the child’s wishes and feelings in light of their age and understanding, so an older child’s views carry more weight, but they don’t automatically decide.
Does a lives with order remove the other parent’s parental responsibility?
No. The other parent usually keeps parental responsibility, and the order will often say when the child spends time with them.
What is a residence order?
The old name for what is now a child arrangements order saying who a child lives with. Existing residence orders are treated as child arrangements orders.
Reviewed by Daniel Andrews
Partner and Head of Family at Cramp & Mullaney LLP, authorised and regulated by the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA No. 598851).
Talk it through with us. Book a free 15-minute call, or call Eastbourne 01323 720581 / Battle 01424 533222.
This guide is general information about the law in England & Wales, not legal advice for your situation. Last reviewed: October 2026.
